2023: February – Breathing Pause

Reflecting back on February

In February we explored Swaying. The month has been full of hard emotions, holding, and cozy TV.

There was snow, snow, and more snow. Cancelled classes. Weather & admin leave.

Uncertainty over maintenance future, a deepening desire to work in the healing arts. Great uncertainty in my partnership.

My 3rd Reiki session brought a never-before felt physical experience (woah!) and reminded me to trust in myself and clear clutter. I watched Mari Kondo’s “Sparking Joy” and have been enjoying home makeover before/afters, appreciating the energy of spaces.

The Winter Desert Sunrise puzzle in my living room sneakily provided much support; I completed it last night.

I’ve been mixing up food routines all month (and couldn’t have predicted the refreshing winds that has brought), bringing fruit water to work and making vegan corn dogs; hello smoothies in February; we even did Red Curry takeout on a random Friday.

I learned of: The Moon Is My Calendar (and am exploring the practice), Bioneers.

Enjoyed “Ted Lasso” and “The Morning Show” on my 3 free months of AppleTV. Ted is uplifting and funny and kind; The Morning Show is important yet pushes the edge of too much for my sensitive being–I notice the lack of plants in their corporate TV world.

I began a writing project, looking back at all that’s transpired since 2019, to craft a narrative and integrate.

I didn’t send out any letters, but one package to a friend undergoing surgery (KF).

The final week of the month, some coworkers and I experienced something very hard at work. My body is processing trauma from it, and old Loneliness wounds are surfacing. I had to ask for what I needed at work, which felt vulnerable and uncomfortable. This incident sparked me to finally finish the self-paced TRE class though, and I’ve used TRE 3 times on myself this week. Excited to go deeper.

Grateful for…

+ The Loam and all its humans
+ Caring healing professionals
+ Money for massage and therapy
+ Money for food
+ My housemate’s energy
+ The trees
+ The care from several work folks after the Incident
+ The self-knowledge I’ve gained over the years
+ Music, Alexa Sunshine Rose, First Aid Kit, Molly’s playlists
+ Ted Lasso and all the humans who brought that story to life

Celebrating / proud of…

+ Giving myself what I need
+ Skipping class the Tuesday we processed the Incident
+ Letting emotion move through me at work, at home
+ Turning to somatic writing, TRE, soul friends
+ Voicing truths/needs to my partner
+ The writing and not writing on New Project


+ Need for in-person community is getting stronger; thinking about where to live when this job ends, or before.
+ Lack of spark at work. Open wonderings: Is it seasonal? Is it the people? Is it signifying the need for a bigger realignment?
+ The resurface of a sad, Deep Loneliness
+ My lack of walks this snowy winter.
+ Deep desire for a safe home. An address that won’t change. Walls I can paint.

Looking Ahead to March

Calling in

I’m calling in the powers of Self Trust and Gentle Compassion.

May I trust my intuition, and treat myself so gently these days.

May the words I speak to myself carry compassion,

May I encourage and nurture all the versions of me: Young Rebecca, Wisest & Kindest Me, Present-Me.

Naming intentions

The hotspot has been increasing my awareness to exciting things: Lyla June, Bioneers, TRE, a woman-run farm in WI, etc. And while the bubbly excitement is a welcome sign, my eyes have strayed too far from my paper. Thus, my intentions this coming month:

  • Make space (clear clutter: material, thought, energetic)


  • Ground (keep growing this foundation)


  • Paint/write/create (be aware of how much I’m consuming)