Reflecting back on January
January was a month of integrating the visit to my family of origin over the holidays, of a new housemate, of snow and snow and more snow, of readjusting to the school rhythms, of committing to two retreats this year, of uncertainty in my primary relationship, and of attention on the Good Worker armor.
+ My new housemate, with whom I feel the most myself in my home, compared to all my housemates prior in current govt shared housing. She is teaching me a lot with her presence.
+ The puzzle that Pete left me with. I’ve been playing with a new lunchtime routine, where I return home to eat and puzzle, and it’s felt good.
+ Bear/strength handmade gift from Adson
+ Em and our connection
+ Loam and Polo friends
+ The sunshine, melting this snow into water
+ New security doors installed at my house
+ Lyla June, who my therapist just introduced me to. I’m grateful for the excitement and resonance I feel when listening to Lyla’s words, and that she’s spoken so much over the years.
+ My teachers this semester at community college. They each have their own way, and are both deeply dedicated to knowledge being passed along and understood by students.
+ The trust and love in my partnership
+ Fresh energy felt this week in new grocery/eating rhythms: watermelon/kiwi water at work on a Wednesday, chocolate smoothie on a Sunday
+ The light blue handkerchief in my right pocket, whose scent fills me with grounding and safety.
+ My safe, cozy home.
+ Work environment where I can explore the Armor and practice new ways of being.
Celebrating / Proud of…
+ Using my voice at 2-day Wilderness Training
+ Noticing the bubbles and ordering Calm CP supplement again
+ Filing my taxes!
+ Rootedness among partnership waves
+ Listening to my intuition re: Molly’s retreats
+ Grounding during the work day
+ How I responded to an email from an old college friend
+ All of the 10% Tuesdays I’ve been writing & sharing in the Loam
+ The noticing I did when I got a new phone at the start of the month, the slowness of my transition from old to new, intentionally installing apps, creating a “neutrally separate” background to remind me of a new energy tool I’m playing with.
+ Third Chakra. I can take up space. I am powerful and strong, like the sun. I honor the light within me.
+ A noticing of the Good Worker shield. How heavy it is. How much shame/judgment I can automatically cast upon myself in work settings. New dimensions of an old story are being illuminated.
+ Calling towards energy healing. I’m reading “Energy Medicine” by Jill Blakeway right now, and while it’s not my #1 on energy healing, it’s illuminating clearly that I want to go deep into this realm, to develop gifts with which I can share and heal.
Looking Ahead to February
Lately I’ve been feeling more of the bubbles, the pressure of taking in so many stimuli at once, analyzing, noticing, tending to myself based on capacity. There isn’t time to process all that’s occurring! It makes me more fearful of leaving the house—like scanning and protecting take so much heavy work and energy. So I’m calling in the power of breath.
With me always, may I turn to her as a trusted resource in any moment.
May I rest in the knowing that there is nothing I must do.
Open, relax, and breath will breathe me, as she always does.
What has proven her dependability more than she?
May this breath remind me of the wisdom in One Thing At a Time and All Timing Right Timing,
and may she bring with her a lightness, a softening,
a deepness of my connection with Earth, with All Life.
So mote it be.