2021: End of July – A Breathing Pause

Last month I did my end-of-June reflection by hand in my notebook, and don’t want to spend any energy typing it up here, so I’ll jump into what’s present.

Closing Loops

This has become a strong theme for me, and something I spend most of my weekends doing. Because of how my body experiences the world right now, I’m at a point where often leaving things open-ended or unfinished is more draining than just doing a task. I feel better when the loops are closed, even if historically closing certain loops took more energy from me. Now it takes more energy to leave them open.

What does it mean (to me) to close loops? Washing dishes can be closing a loop. Having a clarifying conversation with a coworker can close a loop. Sending a response to a letter. Finishing a book. Putting things away in my room. Writing and sending a thank-you note. Mailing a package. Binding zines. Making meals and snacks for the work week. Sending a voice message to communicate something. Calling to change my car insurance to Arizona. Hanging my clothes out on the line to dry. And so on, and so forth.

So, this is definitely an area where I’ve been putting energy/time, and where I want to continue putting energy/time.

Somatics/Healing

I’m currently reading “Call of the Wild: How We Heal Trauma, Awaken Our Own Power, and Use It for Good” by Kimberly Ann Johnson. It’s a deeper dive into concepts and helpful practices I learned in my Story Mammal workshop (taught by Molly Caro May) back in Feb/March, and it’s proving the missing link and nuance which makes a lot of my past (and present) make more sense. Much learning and experiencing to do to continue healing, but I’m so grateful for these resources and for my Story Mammal community.

My focus has been to notice body sensations, and to ask “How can I make this more blue?” [context required].

With time and knowledge, I’ve been able to pinpoint that my nervous system is very sensitive right now and needs healing. Rhodiola root was quite helpful during my transitions, but I didn’t want to depend on it daily. After some strong, telling reactions earlier in the month [I could write chapters and chapters about how I’ve been experiencing reality…], last weekend I picked up a 30-day supply of a daily supplement (containing: rhodiola, holy basil, schisandra, ashwagandha, vitamin B-6) and have been putting Ashwagandha into my nightly tea. And after gloriously landing on this resource of herbs for highly sensitive people, I placed an order for some herbs and flower essences, which have yet to arrive. I will see how the teas make me feel, and how the daily supplement affects me during the coming month.

Creating

I’ve been participating in Molly Caro May’s “The Great Reassessment,” a daily writing or somatic prompt for the current moon cycle.

I changed my weekend 30-minute writing sits to 30-minute work on my Stats zine, as I’d like to finish a shorter published creation this fall.

Bought a typewriter earlier in the month ($24 at Goodwill! With working ribbon!) and that has been a joyful tool of expression and letter writing. I can send longer letters without internet/email, and without cramping my hand (and in less time). It’s also been great when I’m feeling strong things, to just sit down and start typing. (Also great for: lyrics/ukulele chords when you don’t have a printer! I pull tabs up on my phone, and type it out on the typewriter.)

Ukulele/songwriting and painting have still been in the backseat these months. And my time feels perfectly full. I trust in the seasons and in following the flow each day.

Celebrating:

+Shared some creations downtown
+Notes and documenting of past-self
+Grateful for genuine eagerness to learn new things, and the people who generously answer my questions and help me gain knowledge
+Took action on collective snail mail zine; am creating with a group of Story Mammal friends
+True sharing with family members, which took deep energy and vulnerability
+Attempt at using pendulation tools during the difficult activations/triggerings this month; compassion for self when body doesn’t respond the way my mind wants it to; proud of myself for all the difficult moments/pain experienced and felt

Book recommendations:

-The Midnight Library
-Silver Sparrow
-Walker’s Journey Home (#2 in Walker in Time series)

Looking Ahead: August

Guiding Goddess: Guinevere – True Love

“The romantic stirrings in your heart have propelled the universe to deliver great love to you.”

***

Two family members are visiting this month. It’s been two years since I’ve seen any family, which also means I haven’t interacted in person as my deep-sensing self. I will need lots of presence and blessings to stay the course and nurture my energy during this time.

Where I’d like to put my energy this month:

  • Morning and nightly Celtic Devotional / ACIM.
  • Weekend Stats writing.
  • Continue closing loops.
  • Continue somatics and maintenance learning.

 

A deep breath of peace for us, here and now.

Sending light to you.